48 Paintballs

Coutesy of Wikipedia

I would like to tell a story. So, I am godly at paintball, like, on a scale of 1 to kick-ass I'm up there at deadly, which is pretty frickin' great. Imagine my excitement at being invited to a friend Avi's birthday party to go paint balling. YES, I get to show off while beating down middle aged men going through midlife crisis’. Only problem, I was twelve and that would be my first time paint balling, but I knew,  I KNEW that it was my destiny to go out there and cause condensed paint to explode on the bodies of the weak.

After a thirty minute car ride in the SUV of Avi's kind mother I was ready, I was fired up and ready to run into that arena guns blazing. I got two sweatshirts on and an old pair of jeans on and a mask.

Finally, we get into the arena and I'm looking around at these yellow and blue blow up barriers, mapping out my game plan. So the first of three rounds of our game starts, and both teams are on opposite sides in a small area. We all start out pretty bad, and then we begin to get better.

So, we continue playing, havin' a good time and we're all doing well, and about five or six rounds later we are running out of paintballs. We decide that we only have enough for one last game, so we reload our guns and begin. I wanted to be efficient so I'm trying to use as many balls as possible.

Courtesy of Youtube
I'm sure this guy had one of these

The last round comes, and I only got around five shots, so as we're switching sides my friend lends me another five. Every shot needs to count. Round starts, I run and slide behind a barrier with three of my team backing me up. They cover me as I run to a middle barrier, and I return the favor  by taking some a guy down as they join me behind this middle barrier. After taking one more enemy down there lies only one left. He is around two-thirds across the battlefield behind a large triangular barrier and nobody can land a shot. So, in the heat of the battle, I look at these two kids I don't know and the birthday boy and I shout, "COVER ME ON THREE, ONE, TWO, THREEEEE!" I rounded the corner and ran at the speed of sound, jumped into a slide, and all of a sudden everything went into slow motion. As I slid I rotated my body and propped my gun against my shoulder. I look at this final enemy and strike the fear of a thousand armies into his heart, take perfect aim, and squeeze the trigger. "TICK." I slow to a stop and realize that that "TICK" was not the sound of a paintball leaving my gun, it was the sound of a gun without paintballs. Suddenly, everything is in fast motion and this guys snaps the barrel of his gun right at me and does not stop shooting. I felt the full frontal assault of 48 paintballs explode on my body as I lay there helpless. I'm trying to raise my hands to tell this monster that he has hit, but every time I raise an arm it just gets shot out the air. Finally he gets hit, but not after 48 PAINTBALLS made contact without my body. I had a bruise on my thigh that was a FOOTLONG FOR TWO WEEKS. Least to say, I didn't do a lot of walking after that.