Eye-Opening

Courtesy of Teen.com

Hehehehehehe, sorry, just laughing at my genius pun in the title, let me explain. Since the beginning of humanity, the sun, or "day moon" as Charlemagne would say, has risen and set. Along with it, man has awoken and slept. Only problem? Mornings suck. If there was a physical entity of morning that took the form of a human being I would ask morning if it fell from heaven, cause so did Satan. I don't know why mornings are a thing, nor do I know why they continue to be a thing when everybody hates them. No offense morning, but I mean absolute and complete offense to you.

There is nothing on this giant sphere of rock that will ever change my opinion on mornings. Let me explain, morning is a time in which we are expected to wake up, thus ending one of my favorite things, sleep. There I am, in a state of unconscious, full body paralysis peacefully sleeping away and the sun comes up and is all like, "FEEL MY HEAT AND SEE MY LIGHT!!!!!" There I am, now awake, wondering what the hell the sun is thinking, I mean, I don't want this frickin' eye-opening experience,  hehe, now do you get the title? I'm fine laying on a mattress, in the perfect position and wrapped in blankets like a human burrito, there's nothing wrong with that. My bed is the most comforting thing that I have ever known and mornings strive to destroy those eight hours of bliss that I get to spend with it.

Courtesy of Teen.com

I don't know, except I never not know... double negative? Anyway, a lot of the reason that I hate mornings is what follows waking up. Most of the time I have to wake up, throw my rag doll body into clothing, brush my mouth with paste, barely eat breakfast and finally fling myself onto a giant yellow bus filled with miserable children on their way to a public learning facility.  Not only that, but I also have to go to school on said bus and learn about the demographic transition while I'm still 93% asleep. Every kid at school is exhausted and somewhere around half of them didn't get around to eating breakfast, you know why? CAUSE OF FRICKIN' MORNINGS, THAT'S WHY!!! That's right, three whole exclamation marks.

Courtesy of Imgur

Morning is the worst at yet another one of my favorite things, food. Out of the three meals a day breakfast is definitely my least favorite. One, you barely get as much food as lunch and dinner. Two, you don't have time to eat your food, and most of the time you don't get to savor it either. On most school days I don't get to eat my whole breakfast because I don't have time, and I often find myself wrapping it in a paper towel and eating it in the middle of class. And three, breakfast just doesn't have the best food of the three, I'd much rather eat burger than a biscuit.

In the end mornings suck, and to those of you who were blessed with the power to be a morning person, enjoy it, because you will never have to know the always repeating cycle of mornings. I sleep in till' twelve whenever I can just to avoid mornings, because mornings suck, fact.