Boxed Joy

Courtesy of The Gaily Grind
"Cause we care about our customers!"

Yes the juicy feeling that you get when you lay eyes on that chocolate colored rectangular prism sitting in your mail box. You see, here at my mountain town, yes my mountain town, we don't have mail boxes outside of our driveways, instead we have this odd collection of boxes, each dedicated to one house, that we all have to go to to get our mail. If there's a package for you, a key is left in your box to open up a larger box containing the package. From personal experience, as soon as I see that key my hand shoots out as fast as humanly possible, grabs that key with the strength of a thousand gods, then proceeds to thrust that key into the larger box's keyhole, and finally I rotate the key and rip open the large box to see my package, waiting for me in all its glory. Then I proceed to notice the other people getting their mail staring at the savage I've become. Point is, the feeling of getting a package is up there with.. I don't know, pandas and flipping your pillow over to feel the cool side when it gets too hot.  

What getting a package feels like
Background courtesy of Video Game Blogger

I'm gonna tell a story, so gather round children. So recently, Christmas passed and also, one of the greatest days of the year, my birthday. Not your birthday, my birthday, the day of my birth is greater than the day of yours... this is why people don't like me. Anyway, so, before these tremendous holidays passed my mom decided to get Amazon Prime for two day shipping. After these days had passed I decided to order a little something for myself through two day shipping. Once I placed my order I, naturally, spent those two days in purgatory, floating adrift on an endless plane like, well, like we are right now... on a universal scale... scary. These endless two days pass and I bolt down to that awkward collection of mail boxes to find our box completely empty. I kinda sat there, staring at that pitiful empty box wondering why the world is so cruel. So, after a whole day of grieving in purgatory I check again, ripping open the door to my mail box... nothing. At this point, I'm pretty ticked so I call up Amazon, wondering where in the Lord's name my package is. I come to find that my package will not arrive until tomorrow... a whole 24 hours away, that's 1,440 minutes or... gimme a sec... 86,400 seconds. In these 24 hours I spent in Hell, suffering as I waited for my now two day late package. Then came the torture of waiting until three or four o'clock for the mail to arrive, and suddenly, there I was, standing right in front of the mail box with a glimmering key in my hand. I slowly inserted the key into the keyhole and carefully rotated, and as if the gates of Heaven were opening, there it was, a yellow envelope *insert sweet guitar solo. I then proceeded to inhumanely tear open the envelope to bask in the glory of what I ordered. Bliss.