The Snooze Button

See this little guy, it's my alarm clock, and if you dare press the snooze button, you will receive another minute of sleep, but it will roll off the nightstand and under your bed while piercing your ears with what sounds to be R2-D2 with Tourettes Syndrome

Dear that one guy who decided it was okay to make children wake up at ridiculously early times just to be forced into a confined space to learn,
I sincerely wish I could judo kick your face so hard that your body goes into orbit with Jupiter. If there's two things I hate most about school, it's homework and the immensely illogical times that school begins and ends. My school day starts at 7:35 in the morning, in other words students are forced to fall out of bed at around 6 o'clock if they want a sufficient breakfast and to not break the law by skipping school.

Image Courtesy of THX
What you alarm sounds like in the morning (if you can't retrieve any memory of what this sounds like you're too young for the internet).

Personally, I have given up on waking up for school. It has come to the point where I have two alarms set, one on my phone and one on that little slice of that I call Talbot. That's right, I named my alarm clock after a villain from a video game, not crazy... then again I did name my alarm clock... Anyway, it's not working. As a kid I wasn't much of a morning person either, through hard work I developed a special routine. To begin I chose what to clothes wear the night and I then proceeded to through the clothes on the ground. The next morning I proceeded to, literally, fall out of bed and, using the spirit animal of the worm, I began to squirm into my clothes on the ground. I've never been a morning person, never will I ever be. I find it almost funny that I have the physical ability to get up and shut my phone alarm off just so that I may go straight back to bed. Then Talbot starts ringing in attempt to crumble Mount Olympus and destroy all of sealmanity (kinda like humanity, but with seals). Therefore, I have adapted to my dreadful environment and developed the ability to change my alarm while still asleep. I know, it's straight up witchcraft. I have been receiving fragmented memory of these anomalies in which I roll over and feel around for my clock, constantly mashing buttons until I am able to either post-pone my arrival into the cold, dark morning of despair, or I'll turn off the alarm completely.

Turning off my alarm causes me to not wake up, me not waking up causes time, in which I should be using sufficiently, to pass, passing time causes my motherly unit to realize that I am not awake, realizing I'm not awake causes my mother to make all seven layers of absolute hell break loose, thus activating my mutant ability to be at the bus stop in five minutes and thirty seven seconds. Activation of mutant abilities causes the inevitable instant exhaustion, instant exhaustion causes failure, failure causes depression, depression and failure eventually lead to my living in a box, a fairly large box though. Sponsored by DIRECTV. Now, I must finish the rest of my horrid homework, and make sail for dreamland, wish that your ancestors be with me.